i finally have time for myself.doing stuffs that i enjoy doing such as watching series, online, blogging, or just slack around relaxing and doing stuffs that i really feel like doing. I really lost all free time of my own for the past few months being busy with studies as well as activities. and i'm taking a short break for now trying to just be stress free for a few days(:
however, i've been thinking alot lately. thinking about myself and how i actually socialize with other people. i found out something about myself after i'm back from camp..that is i do have the ego look that people dislikein their first impression. some of my friends from camp said that i have the "princess" kind of look with stubborn attitude and totally not tough. other people also said that they thought i will be someone whom they cannot mix with at all.but when they got to know me,they realised that i do crap alot and am a very sarcastic person. some do see me as a real tough and outspoken girl compared to an ordinary girl.=) i really did not know the fact that i do have a not so friendly look given to people at the very first sight. it wasn't a very nice thing being said that i have a "princess" look but i totally took that as a compliment.LOL. i am really wondering how to change the first impression of others towards me? well, i know that i can't expect everyone to love or like me when they see me. but the fact is..being said having an ego look isn't a good thing afterall. i honestly doubt myself and my capabilities now. i do not know if im someone who can mix around easily and not saying stuffs that might hurt people's feelings or make them hate me. i really do not know what type of person i am. but i know one thing, that is i am stubborn and strong minded. i will have mindset of my own that other people can hardly change. i hope to change to become better. but how can i do it.? and i just get pissed off and fed up of alot of things recently. i know i cannot expect everything to go as i wish and stuffs. and i know i'm having a very bad communication with my mum recently. i'm really sorry mum. sometimes, i really do not know what you expect from me. i also do not know how should i response at times. i wish things would have turn out to be better. maybe i should abide to every single thing you say and put myself in your shoes as a mum? or maybe you should know that i really want to go home too but sometimes i have activities back in singapore since my school is in singapore? i do not want you to think that i do not like going home and stuffs as i know you always assume that about me. i might sometimes say things without thinking just to quarrel back with you but im really sorry mum. i do not know whether i've grown up and matured enough to decide on my own stuffs but i really hope that you do allow me to do so. i know i might not be right all the time and still need to listen to your advise as well but yes.. i wish to have my own choice of activities and involevement in school as long as i could. im sorry for everything mum and i hope you will not be angry with me or something.
i finally have time for myself.doing stuffs that i enjoy doing such as watching series, online, blogging, or just slack around relaxing and doing stuffs that i really feel like doing. I really lost all free time of my own for the past few months being busy with studies as well as activities. and i'm taking a short break for now trying to just be stress free for a few days(:
however, i've been thinking alot lately. thinking about myself and how i actually socialize with other people. i found out something about myself after i'm back from camp..that is i do have the ego look that people dislikein their first impression. some of my friends from camp said that i have the "princess" kind of look with stubborn attitude and totally not tough. other people also said that they thought i will be someone whom they cannot mix with at all.but when they got to know me,they realised that i do crap alot and am a very sarcastic person. some do see me as a real tough and outspoken girl compared to an ordinary girl.=) i really did not know the fact that i do have a not so friendly look given to people at the very first sight. it wasn't a very nice thing being said that i have a "princess" look but i totally took that as a compliment.LOL. i am really wondering how to change the first impression of others towards me? well, i know that i can't expect everyone to love or like me when they see me. but the fact is..being said having an ego look isn't a good thing afterall. i honestly doubt myself and my capabilities now. i do not know if im someone who can mix around easily and not saying stuffs that might hurt people's feelings or make them hate me. i really do not know what type of person i am. but i know one thing, that is i am stubborn and strong minded. i will have mindset of my own that other people can hardly change. i hope to change to become better. but how can i do it.? and i just get pissed off and fed up of alot of things recently. i know i cannot expect everything to go as i wish and stuffs. and i know i'm having a very bad communication with my mum recently. i'm really sorry mum. sometimes, i really do not know what you expect from me. i also do not know how should i response at times. i wish things would have turn out to be better. maybe i should abide to every single thing you say and put myself in your shoes as a mum? or maybe you should know that i really want to go home too but sometimes i have activities back in singapore since my school is in singapore? i do not want you to think that i do not like going home and stuffs as i know you always assume that about me. i might sometimes say things without thinking just to quarrel back with you but im really sorry mum. i do not know whether i've grown up and matured enough to decide on my own stuffs but i really hope that you do allow me to do so. i know i might not be right all the time and still need to listen to your advise as well but yes.. i wish to have my own choice of activities and involevement in school as long as i could. im sorry for everything mum and i hope you will not be angry with me or something.
